When a child grows up, it is fundamental that he feels loved just because he is a human person, no matter any other condition. The unconditional love of his parents has a key role in making the child aware of his infinite value. This is the root that will make him able to develop integrally. However, nowadays there is a threat to this fundamental dynamic. Through the social acceptance of abortion, a new culture is arising: a culture that makes the value of the human life conditional, dependent on “wantedness”. A new human life is no longer an infinite value that must be protected under any circumstance, but rather it is seen as a “commodity”.
This concept of “wantedness” eliminates the most important ingredient for children to develop appropriately: the confidence in their parents’ love. Their lives don’t have value in itself anymore, but the value depends on the “wantedness”. Thus, these children may be constantly trying to make themselves “wanted” in order to justify their existence.
The experts are already observing the consequences of this cultural change. Dr. Ney (psychiatrist) and Dr. Marie Peters Nay (pediatrician), two experts in this field, have been talking at the European Parliament about the Post Abortion Survivors Syndrome (PASS). According to Dr. Ney, there are many kinds of abortion survivors: the ones who have survived when one of their siblings have been aborted; the ones whose mother was going to abort them but for any reason she didn’t do it; disabled children who know that many others with their same condition are normally aborted and, in short, all the ones who know that their life could have been terminated.
Abortion survivors feel threatened by those who profess to love them; it is this dichotomy that causes the problem. These people suffer deep existential crisis and conflicts that often result in social, psychiatric and medical problems. The core conflicts stem from their survivor guilt, their existential anxiety and the enormous distrust of themselves and others. This syndrome is similar to the one who suffers people that have survived to a situation where many others have died (concentration camps, war, natural disasters, etc.). However, it has one main difference: abortion survivors are not glad to be alive. They have more reason to believe they may have contributed to the death of a sibling since it was determined by a conscious choice of their parents (especially if the survivor was a “difficult child”).
“How could you, my parents, be loving me and yet have killed one of my siblings or considered killing me? You still might do something to me. I do not trust you.”
In WYA we believe that in order to develop a strong society we should be able to provide individuals with all the means for a fulfilled, healthy and happy live. It is fundamental to protect the role of the families as schools of humanity.
To develop strong families, where children grow up in a context of true love, trust, and solidarity, the moral acceptance of abortion must be urgently eliminated. Children who grow up in a home where abortion was not even considered are not alive because they were wanted, but because they have an inherent right to life. They don’t have to strive to stay wanted; thus, they can be more independent and freer to develop in the way they are supposed to do it. They know that they deserve to live, no matter how good they are, no matter how capable they are, no matter anything. In the family, as a school of dignity, every child must be welcomed, regardless of sex, size, race or convenience. Only when this basis is well achieved will the children be able to develop in accordance with their dignity.
Written by Ines Lobo Lozano, a World Youth Alliance Europe intern